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Monday, October 22, 2007

You Have Good Hair Locks

While at the Philly Loc Conference, I met a young woman who said that she wanted SLs just like mine. I thanked her and gave her some general info on Sisterlocks. I also informed her that my niece, behind me and Cluizel behind her have sisterlocks. She looked at me, said "oh", and then repeated, " I want sisterlocks just like you. Your hair is pretty." So, at that point, I just smiled and told her it was nice meeting her. She went on to say, "I want curls like you." I told her the curls were natural. I really don't know how to make people like this get the point that Sisterlocks do NOT change your hair texture. Sisterlocks is just a locking technique not a texturizer or a magician's trick.

I want to address the issue of hair texture and locs. Even with locs, people distinguish texture. I have had many locked and natural brothas and sistahs, comment about my hair texture. I have heard that my hair is too fine to lock. I have heard that I am messing my good hair up with locks and so on. How silly is this?! People just don't understand or seem to want to look like themselves.

Well, this is me; and this is a pic of "messing up my good hair" on day 1.

“If I didn't define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people's fantasies for me and eaten alive.” ~ Audre Lorde


Cluizel said...

Sigh...but I so remember that happening! lol.

My Mom gets that alot. People get confused and think her curls on the end are part of having sisterlocks...and then they see me. lol.

Aya said...

Sounds like you handled that situation as well as you could. That individual just doesn't get it. Embracing one's individual beauty is a long journey for some. BTW, your locks look great!!!

muslimahlocs said...

you are spot on with this post ns. a lot more could be said, right. i have heard the "why did you go and mess up your good hair to put those things in it" at least as many times as half of the number of locks on my head. and believe me, that's a lot. i wonder what they will say when i mess up HMC's hair? (especially her father's island folks) if only they knew that lock-envy is often a two-way street, even though it is really much, much deeper than that.

BeautyinBaltimore said...

Sad, so black women are very insecure when it comes to the texture of our hair. As a side note, I've always loved the thickness of your hair. Its so out of the world. I wonder if you were one of those women who could wear a relaxer and not have breakage.

Meikmeika said...

I've received comments from people stating a perm would do my hair an inkling of justice due to my hair type..huh? Of course these are the same people complaining about their hair breaking off, or their ends needing to be clipped again, or their receding hairline.. I try to let all know that "good" hair is healthy hair.

My boyfriend's family all have what most would call "good" hair and I can't even tell you how many times his mother has mentioned the word perm to me. His grandmother felt sorry for me having to wear my hair natural, as if it wasn't a choice... LOL!!! All I can do is laugh cause I have truely grown to love my hair in all it's ungoodliness!!!

Your locks are very beautiful!

brunsli said...

I have always gotten in trouble for my hair texture. First, it was too curly -- somehow, with my color skin, people told me there's something wrong that I don't have the matching hair (what??). Then, when I finally embraced its texture and stopped relaxing, people (including locked people) told me there was something wrong with locking hair of my texture, because it's so nice it should be free.


As for your lock stalker, it's not her fault. I think it takes time to learn to love your own hair. She's still in the information-gathering stage.

Naturally Sophia said...

@Beauty in Baltimore- I think relaxers would eventually break out anyone's hair. The chemicals are just too rough.

@Meikmeika- Many of my family members have "good" hair too. None of them with "good" hair get the natural hair thing. Everyone's is diff. I guess.

@Brunsli- It definitely takes time to love yourself in general. I almost wish that anyone with a perm had to grow it out naturally without SLs b/c I find ppl that had natural hair b/4 usually don't have those issues.
I wish you were there. It didn't seem like she was gathering info. It was more like she wished she could buy my hair on a track or something. She didn't engage with any of the other women with SLs. Her focus was having hair like me. Ya know?

@muslimah- I empathize with the both of you. My family is the same way. Especially since I cut my hair to get them. Ppl are like you cut your hair to get braids? Ppl don't get it.

Sweet Ducky said...

Thanks for the comment. I'm trying to find a consultant but I'm still saving my moola. Luckily no one has said anything about my decision to lock.My brother had locks for a few years but then just chopped them off, he was tired of twisting his hair,lol. My mom and grandma are natural, so anything natural is great in my family.
If you can suggest anyone,let me know.Thank you

Lakia said...

I feel you Sophia. My mother did not like the fact that I locked my hair. Her words were "your not suppose to lock pretty hair." I am loving my locks and loving my curls. I can cope with the fact that not everyone locks will be the same. I found that out when doing my SL research. I am loving my sisterlocks. One girl at my job was like " I don't see how your hair is going to lock". I just smiled devilishly and went about my business. I got to go cough on her phone now. LOL!

blackrussian said...

Although my hair is not textured like yours, I run into this too.

I have curly ends that I suspect will stay (and I want them to). People don't understand that they're natural and not the result of some technique or product or texturizing process (or hair I bought). And then they think that it is something they can duplicate.

It is hard to explain without offending and/or being offended.

I get the: if your hair is pretty/curly/good why did you lock? opposition too.

I have almost written my own posts about this several times.