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Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Heartbreaker Decepticon

After much thought, I have decided to write about my beloved, Heartbreaker Decepticon, see right. To make a long story short, we dated a few years and broke-up. But now he asked me if I want to revisit our relationship. He wants to make it better the second time. He says...

I have always felt that once an ex is an ex, he is one for eternity. I tend to like short,concrete break-ups never to be with that person again. I want to address the subject of couples breaking up and getting back together. Please share your views. Personally, I don't even like to befriend my exes when its over. It usually ends up being a problem or inconvenient in my next relationship. I also don't like it when I have a new boo, and he is wrapped too tightly into his ex for my taste; it seriously irritates me. However, I think I may be narrow-minded on the subject matter. I am interested in your thoughts, especially from men.

13 comments:

Helga said...

Ouch, Sophia! He really looks like a heartbreaker with those amazing good looks ;-) I think you may be right, there is a reason why people speak of moving on after a heartbreak. You may ask yourself, what were the reasons we split to begin with? What is different now?

Remember, they always come back, always. But someone who is truly wanting to return will have taken responsibility for his actions, worked on growing in areas where he needs growth, and will be patient with you as you learn to trust again. If he is not truly repentant and has not honestly worked through his 'stuff', he will hurt you (or someone else) again, and most likely in the same way.

Goodnapps said...

Hey Sophia! Thanks for dropping by.
From the read of this post, I swear I could of wrote it myself nearly verbatum. I've always carried the mentality..when we are done - we're done. But if you do want to consider a second go around, Helga really nailed it.

Naturally Sophia said...

Helga and Goodnapps- Decisions, decisions. Thanks for your feedback. I am really asking myself what is different now. It seems like the only one who is different is me. But I am still taking my time to weigh the pros/cons. Please feel free to drop by and comment anytime.

Carmen In NC said...

You broke up for a reason. Do you still mind if snores or can you live with that? Or has he fixed the snoring problem and sleeps soundless. I'd analyze all the issues and see if they are still a problem for me and if so, has he corrected those problems. Good luck to you and thanks for stopping by my blog.

CHIC NOIR said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
CHIC NOIR said...

Sophia, he is cute no scratch that, he is fine. If I was you I would probably be tempted to give him another try.

blackrussian said...

Thanks for visiting my blog!

I used to have a different policy. I have been in several relationships that seemed not to work out because of other things that were going on in our lives, trials and bad timing, and so, I was willing to try again.

I am terribly optimistic. Like you, I always always see the good that COULD be, "if only..."

My last TWO r'ips were do-overs, and, well, it got me nowhere. And each time the second break-up was more complicated and heart-rending than the first.

I was SO proud of us because we did manage not to make the same mistakes, but we managed to make ALL knew ones and it was just like: what the....?

I'm with Carmen: you broke up for a reason. With the two exes that I'm thinking of, I realized the second time around that the problems we had were not isolated incidents or circumstances. They stemmed from underlying attitudes that needed to be different. They were not the result of a single action here and there, but rather of a mindset that was fundamentally different from and incompatible with my own.

Of course, I carry the hope that my next new relationship will be my last, but I am determined not to look back. From here on out, when I'm done, I'm done.

Meikmeika said...

I agree with you. I'm not one who can be friends with an ex and feel they're an ex for a reason.

I will say that if you still have strong feelings for him it couldn't hurt to give it another try. Has he changed for the better?

I have a co-worker who all her guy friends are her ex's. I just feel bad for the next guy she gets in a relationship with.

You've gotta go with your heart. If you feel you should give him another chance, do it but if you feel obligated you should walk away.

Renea said...

I am friends with some exes, friendly with others, and there are one or two that I haven't spoken to since the day we broke up.
Every situation is different. There are no rules except the ones that guide your heart. But try not to confuse hope with happiness. Have the issues that led to your first breakup been addressed and resolved? Do you both agree why you would be getting back together? Is it because you now share the same values or because you want to fix the past??
It is possible to re-discover someone and find that you are now on the same page. If the original breakup was due to value differences or character flaws, chances are they remain. If you are willing to accept those terms, then just follow your heart.

Naturally Sophia said...

Hi Ladies! I appreciate all the thought that went into your comments.
I am adding you all to my blog links as I have checked out all of your blogs; I'm very impressed. I am still seeing/thinking about Heartbreaker Decepticon but I am open to seeing other people too for now.
It never hurts to have options; and if he is serious about me again, we can afford the energy to make sure we get it right this time. I am definitely not going to put all my eggs in that basket at this point.

JustMeWriting said...

I'm late, but just had to comment on this, since I've had the only two men I've ever love try to make comebacks over the last year.

I think the reasons for the breakup is the thing to consider most...it all lies there. The second thing is...how you NOW feel about the person? Do you think you'd bring any issues from the past dealing into this newness? Lastly, if there was some areas he needed to work on, has he made progress? If all of the above is in tact...then go for it. I hope things work out for you in either case.

lovelyjd said...

Oh Lawd...I could have written that for this year...I don't have any good advice. I will tell you that my singleness was not interupted by the comeback kid(s).

blackrussian said...

I am honored to have been linked to your blog.